Pizza and Red Flags

You won’t believe this (I couldn’t), but the guy was actually Italian! No European man has EVER asked me to pay for anything, especially Mediterranean men. It’s just unthinkable!

I was living in Rome when I met Paulo at some swanky party hosted by a friend. We talked for a while. Later that week, he asked me out. He seemed cool so I said yes. He suggested a fantastic restaurant that made authentic pizza – the way they do in Naples. Being a sucker for Italian pizza, I was on board.

So he picks me up, dressed wonderfully and very handsome. He was taller than I remembered. So far so good! We arrived at the restaurant, were seated and given menus. What happened during the next 5 minutes will make you cringe!

That night I wasn’t in the mood to eat pizza, but the “Scallopini al Limone” made my mouth water. So when the server came back to our table, that is what I ordered. Seconds later Paulo protested and was obviously irritated with me. “Why didn’t you order pizza? You said you wanted pizza!” Yeah, but that was days a go…

Can’t a girl change her mind?

I was shocked that having to spend a few Euros extra set him off. As you can imagine, I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was my red flag radar going off. When we received the check, he asked me to go “Dutch” How appalling! You think I’d be smart enough to cut things short, but no, I wanted to give him a second chance. An Italian man behaving like this was unheard of, I wanted to be proven wrong.

After dinner, he took me to a popular club and at the door, he went ahead of me. The loser paid only for himself then stood there looking at me! Can you believe that? I paid the equivalent of $35 myself. Wouldn’t you have been angry? Visibly, I remained cool and we entered the club.

Once inside, I danced with him once and then went off to enjoy myself. Hey! Why not? After all, I was on a date with myself. Right? Long story short I met another guy there who was such a gentleman. He was my silver lining in this ridiculous story! So it all worked out in the end. You may or may not agree with what I did. Admittedly, it was a bit tacky, but I was not going to spend the next 3 hours dancing with the lazy leech!

Be Courted, Not Shorted

Sorry men, but women should not be paying for anything on the first few dates. It has nothing to do with being a golddigger. As successful, upscale singles – we have money to pay for anything we desire. We liked to be courted and romanced. It is our nature. Unfortunately, some men just don’t get it – especially if you don’t “need” them economically.

A common complaint successful women have is that many of them attract men who are users or lazy. They want business contacts and introductions. They want you to pay for dates they asked you out on. Unfortunately ladies, there are plenty of men who target upscale singles for personal gain.

Do you want to trade in your moocher magnet for magnetic mojo? Never fear! We’ll get those cheapskates running to others who will put up with them.

One of my clients, Melissa (not her real name), is the CEO of a multi-million dollar IT company. She complained that the men she attracted were leeches. They pressured her for work-related favors and expected her to pay for their dates. I told her this was ridiculous, unacceptable and it had to stop immediately!

I gave Melissa 7 of over a dozen strategies to “turn off” her moocher magnet; you will discover 4 of them today. You can start using them today to protect yourself:

Anti-moocher Strategy 1: Be discreet about your work.

This is where most women slip up. The man asks them what they do and they say, “I am the CEO of xyz!” all chirpy and happy… And then they’re surprised when on the second date, he starts asking about a job for his cousin or to be introduced to so and so. Worse yet, he may ask you to go Dutch or even pay for dates.

To avoid the whole thing, just say you work in xyz field. You need not mention you are the CEO or even the name of your company. This doesn’t feel slimy because you are not lying to them.

Anti-moocher Strategy 2: Show up a little earlier for the date.

Pulling up to the valet in your $80,000 luxury sports car is like telling him, “Hey, pretend to fall in love with me so you can use me. Pretty please?” I know it sounds harsh, but that’s what happens quite frequently. Melissa knows this all too well, and you may too.

Men can be opportunists and golddiggers just like women. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So until you’re sure your new beau likes you – for you, just tone things down. Avoid flashy behavior or comments. Many times it’s subconscious, so pay a little extra attention.

I had a conversation with a woman who said, “It’s not like I attract men with my sparkling personality!” I told her to develop one! I’m serious. She was trying to impress men with her business accomplishments (which puts her in contact with many influential and famous people). It doesn’t take Agatha Christie to figure out why she couldn’t tell if men were asking her out because they liked her or if they were networking for favors.

Anti-moocher Strategy 3: Don’t tell him your last name.

I’m not saying you’ve got to lie, just tell him your first and middle name. If you’re divorced, use your maiden name. I have a client who is in the public eye and she was always attracting men who “wanted something”.

In the age of Google, people can find out just about anything about you online. It’s time to take back a little of your privacy.

Men who are real gentlemen will understand. I have never had a problem with this. In fact, to be totally transparent, men would tell me their full names, the company they owned and invite me to Google them. A few even gave me their home phone numbers. However, for me that’s a bit of a stretch even if you live in a gated community or have a doorman!

Anti-Moocher Strategy 4: Set up a separate email account for dating. Don’t use your company.

A brilliant woman like you doesn’t need me to explain this one for you.

That’s it for today. Even if all you had were these four strategies, it would be enough. A man needs to “fall for the real you” – not your affluence or power.

Unlock Your Success: How to take action today

Start using these strategies immediately. For example, if you’re at a party mixing and mingling, start talking less about your work. Talk more about your interests and ask questions. People will start to bond with you genuinely. The quality of the relationships you start to attract (romantic or not) will increase considerably.

If you’re dating online, set up a generic email account just for dating correspondence. Remember, do not use your full name. As I mentioned, not only does it keep your work private, it is also safer.

Your mojo mentor,

Rhonda

P.S. My posts are not complete without your input… I would love to hear from you. Take a minute to leave a comment below. Do you know upscale singles (friends or colleagues) who may find this useful? Use the Social Network buttons below to spread the love! Thanks in advance.

Are you really the type of woman who wants to manipulate a man into being more attracted to her? How’s that for starting a relationship based on honesty?

Actually playing hard to get sabotages your love life. Although it may initially keep a man wanting more of you, it is actually counterproductive. You see, the masses use this to create mystery and intrigue, keeping a guy off balance and guessing how you really feel and why you’re so busy. It works (temporarily) because men want what they cannot have.

Two Ways It Could Blow Up In Your Face

Let’s say you’re really not busy and are just using the “playing hard to get” to keep his attention. Let’s say he falls for you – truly, madly and deeply and you get into a committed relationship. Great! Right? Not really, especially if you were just faking it and really had nothing to do. Women who do this tend to start being needy because now they want that time to be filled – with dates and attention, by the new boyfriend. He’ll think, “Yikes! She was never this clingy before! Who is this woman?” And the whole web you wove will begin to unravel.

On the other hand, let’s say you aren’t the clingy type, but you enjoy staying home most of the time. This is your true core nature, but you’ve been acting like you were Ms. On-The-Go? Think about this, what if he loves the fact that you seemed active and now you’ve done the Jekyll and Hyde transformation, he’ll become bored with the whole “hermit thing” and wonder who the heck you are and how he got roped into this. What if the YOU he fell in love with is the woman who does things? You risk boring him. Boredom is basically the kiss of death for any relationship. Second, you risk arguments because he’s more of an “on-the-go” guy and you’re a homebody. Not exactly the best of matches!

Either way should be avoided because they are both likely to end with you losing him – for good. Men rarely give second chances to a woman who is too clingy or does the Jekyll and Hyde.

It Not About Playing, But Being

One thing you have, as an entrepreneur is naturally in your favor is the fact that you REALLY are busy and don’t have to ACT. So if you aren’t really that busy, just let him see that. If he’s that kind of guy too, he will understand and love it. If not, then he’s not your type of guy. Save yourself wasted time and heartbreak and BE YOURSELF. I’m not saying you have to be available at his beck and call, but you can also tell the truth, say you’re tired or don’t feel like going out.

Your Turn to Take Action

Great, now you’re going to stop sabotaging your love life. Practice telling the truth about how you’re spending your time with everybody you care about (family and friends). Then it will become second nature when you are chatting with a new guy you’ve met. No, you don’t have to send his assistant your entire agenda for the quarter and be play-by-play transparent about everything you’re doing. Just be honest about the lifestyle you live so you can attract a man who is compatible with it.

OK girlfriend, take a moment to let me know your thoughts – good, bad and even ugly! I want to know you’re there and that I’m adding value to your life. Otherwise this blog is useless. Thanks in advance!

Sending you mojo!

Rhonda

This audio is part of a new series of interviews I am doing to answer the most burning questions single female entrepreneurs like you have.

I want to know how you feel…my posts are incomplete without your valuable comments Thanks in advance for sharing!

Your Mojo Accelerator,

Rhonda Cort

P.S. Don’t miss out on the AUDIO series of “Secrets of the Magnetic Goddess” and VIP access to complimentary MOJO-MAGNETIZING audios, teleclasses and information CLICK HERE

Nothing at all! This goes hand-in-hand with the type of lifestyle most of us worked hard (or work hard) to achieve. I’m sorry, but I’ve been there and done that with the 9-to-5 guys and it just doesn’t work for me!

But just because a guy is well-off or owns a business doesn’t mean he is ideal for entrepreneur women like us.  I once dated a guy who owned several retail stores, but we didn’t see eye-to-eye as far as the type of lifestyle we wanted to live.  Although he hired staff to supervise one of the stores he was running (so he could spend more time with me), he could never “break away” for more than 3 days. Not my idea of freedom!

I need someone who wants to live the freedom lifestyle and can take off and go to Europe for a month. A man who would enjoy cruising to the Caribbean for 8 days (that’s me in Belize, just back from a cruise last week). He totally understands if I have to go on a trip to Asia for a speaking engagement (and won’t get jealous either).

Do you “get” me? So never mind the people who call us golddiggers. As the quote says,

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
- Dr. Suess

Your mojo accelerator,

Rhonda Cort

P.S. Want my insider secrets to attracting high quality, successful men? CLICK HERE

Remember, the more you share, the more we all grow! So post now below…

“MAGNETIC MOJO: A powerful energy that comes from within. It attracts everything that comes into your life to you. It is your magical team of publicists working to promote you 24/7! While you eat, sleep, walk, talk, work, play—it’s working for YOU.“

Cool, huh?

I love teaching how women can harness the tremendous power of magnetic mojo to attract everything effortlessly into their lives. I am not into the slow and steady…but QUANTUM LEAPS!

Read my posts about how to skyrocket your personal life.

I touch mainly on 3 aspects…

• The first has to do with mindset and beliefs.
• The second deals with character and assets.
• The third deals with presence and style.

Once understood, combined and implemented you will be able to EXPLODE your personal and professional life—in ways you could never have imagined! Are you ready?

DIG IN AND BROWSE THE BLOG…

Your Mojo Accelerator,

Rhonda Cort

P.S. WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF MAGNETIC MOJO? I’d love to hear it…take 1 minute to post it below. My posts are NEVER complete without your comments

Personally, I love dating, it’s fun. He was shocked when I told him that I haven’t gone on a bad date or met a game-player since I was a freshman in college!

Some people think it’s miraculous, but it’s quite simple. In fact, here are two things you need to do in order to repel men you don’t want and MAGNETICALLY attract those you do…

1) Shift your attitude about dating. Having little time to date, female entrepreneurs and professionals concentrate on the outcome they want instead of just living in the moment.

Unfortunately, they don’t realize that is exactly why great men do not show up. The more they rush and “cut corners”, the fewer quality men they meet–and the longer it will take to meet a match.

The best advice I can give is to have the attitude that you are here to meet new men and have fun. That’s it!

This is POWERFUL.

Women who are carefree and fun are HIGHLY attractive. They just exude that magnetic mojo that quality men can’t resist. When you give up the agenda and start having fun (from your core) that’s when the magic happens!

2) Expect the best. If you’re thinking about all the bad dates, players or pain you’ve experienced, you’ll just get more of it. There are certain words and thoughts that I have “conditioned” out of my mind and my vocabulary.

I ONLY expect to meet quality men who respect me and admire who I am–AS IS.

And guess what? That’s exactly what happens. Have you noticed when you start the day in a “good mood”, things just seem to go your way? And when you start the day in a “bad mood” things just spiral out of control?

It’s the same with your dating life–and any other aspect of your life. Here’s a couple sentences to say to yourself the next time the bad chatter starts in your head:

“I always have fun on my dates. I only attract quality men who recognize I am a quality woman. Even if there is no connection, I always learn something new!”

At first you may not feel this way. But if you keep repeating this to yourself, you will start to believe it and feel it.

So remember, you’re going to have fun, meet wonderful men and learn new things. The more you go out and feel great, the closer you get to your “bingo”! He always shows up when you’re having tons of fun and do not expect him.

Remember, this post is half-finished without your comment. The space below is waiting for your opinion… Take a moment to share  now

Your Mojo Makeover Mentor,

Today I checked out a dating statistics poll (topdatingtips) that confirmed something I already knew. Mr. Right for a female entrepreneur or business owner is as rare as red diamonds. Why because you, my dear, are rare and UNIQUE YOURSELF!

Take a look at the question and answers that caught my eye:

What kind of woman do you go for?

1. Modern career girl 35%
2. Professional go-getter 7%
3. Home-loving girl-next-door 34%
4. The quiet librarian 4%
5. The girl at the checkout 6%
6. Someone like mom 1%
7. The free spirited hippy chick 8%
8. Your ex 6%

Hmm, not encouraging (if you think like most women think)… We rank just above “someone like mom”, “the quiet librarian” and “the girl at the checkout”. Geez, even the “free spirited hippy chick” has more guys looking for her. That’s great news for my friend Christina. But what about YOU and me?

These findings don’t make me nervous, not one bit! I love being a rarity–the red diamond–besides uniqueness is magnetic. YOU are unique, rare and very much sought after by men just like you. This is your ASSET!

Most men are looking for the 9-5 girl or the modern career girl (no offense to our girlfriends). That’s fine. You aren’t looking for them either. You need a man who can understand and support you 100% in your business endeavors. You need a man who is not intimidated by your goals, dreams and dedication to your business. Most importantly, someone who believes in and wants to live the same lifestyle you want.

These are things most career guys cannot do (ahem, I did say most). I’ve been there and done that. You need to get smart, stop wasting time and start qualifying men before you commit your time and heart to a relationship destined to fail.

In order to qualify men, you need to attract them in the first place! Sorry to tell you this, but I’m here to help… Your profile is very likely KILLING your chances of attracting Mr. Right for You online.

Here are two secrets you can use today to turn your profile into a MAGNET to attract only a potential “Mr. Right for You”:

• HEADLINE - Clearly state who you are looking for in your headline. Yes, you can get it all in there. Be creative. You are in your work…so transfer it to your play. EXAMPLE: “Tall Brainy Brunette for Outgoing Business-Minded Whiz”

• YOUR LIFESTYLE - Be specific and authentic about the type of lifestyle you live (or desire to live). You don’t have to reveal all your hopes and dreams, but let men who read your profile know whether it’s a fit or not by giving them a snapshot of it. EXAMPLE: “I’ve been running my own business for the last 5 years. Being able to take a break and walk on the beach at noon is one of the coolest perks about working for myself!”

Remember this magnetic formula:

CLARITY + SPECIFICITY + AUTHENTICITY = MORE QUALITY RESPONSES

Most women try to ‘cast a wide net’ to catch more fish. As in business, so as in love, we cannot be all things to all men. No wonder they fail! Don’t be like them. Use my magnetic formula above and you’ll be frying, roasting and baking ‘fish’ for days, LOL!

Now go make the changes to your profile now! Let me know how things go.

Your magnetic attraction mentor!

Rhonda Cort
“The Magnetic Woman”

P.S. Let me know what you think? Take a moment to leave a comment below. Thanks!

P.P.S. Want free mentoring calls, attraction tips, inspirational stories and goodies? Join my VIP Circle by entering your name and primary e-mail address in the form on the top right-hand side. Don’t miss a thing!

“I hate being single! Ackkk!”

I have a list that would rival the length of ancient scrolls, but here are 4 great ones:

1) You are likely to avoid having a “starter marriage”! Pamela Paul, editor at American Demographics magazine, found that in 2000 over four million twenty- to thirty-four-year-olds reported their status as “divorced.” Staggering and rather sad. I know quite a few of them.

If you were able to avoid this, that’s a good thing. I’m not saying that one should regret it if it did happen. Every choice we make and have made in our lives makes us who we are. You learn, you heal and then you move on.

What I’m saying is don’t envy women who found their sweethearts in high school or college. You never know what the real deal is. Just be grateful for the time you’ve had to grow up, explore yourself and the world.

I am just glad I waited. I had some close calls, but Julia Roberts was there to lend me her running shoes. Just kidding! Seriously, I am secure in my belief that when I do tie the knot, it will be with the right person and “forever”…

2) You attract better quality men! A good friend of mine always told me, “When you hit forty, you just don’t tolerate nonsense anymore.” Hmm, I guess it has a lot to do with being more secure, knowing who you are, what you want (and don’t) and just plain not putting up with it!

She also told me that I would understand when I reached that milestone, but I seem to have hit it 10 years early, LOL! Do you feel the same way?

3) You have major sex appeal! As Aimee Mullins said, “Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman has. It’s much sexier than any body part.” I ditched everyone’s ideal of what was attractive and sexy–light years before I truly acquired a healthy dose of self-esteem and confidence in myself. Don’t ask me how I pulled that one off…

So if you are single and in your thirties, forties or older, don’t envy younger women–married or not. Remember what you have done in your life and how far you’ve come. Just being in that place of acknowledgment will unleash mega mojo vibes no man can resist!

4) Fun and freedom without the schlepping! Yay! This one’s my fave. Many of us struggled when we were in our twenties. If you traveled, you slept at hostels and ate at budget places. Not that there is anything wrong with roughing it, it builds character. It can be major fun too!

However, it’s nice to have the choice not to do it. Once you’re “grown and sexy” (as my friend Zara Green says), life becomes a sizzle fest (that’s how I view it).

I played Cicero to a group of 65 American women (all business owners, entrepreneurs or professionals between the ages of 30 and 60, mind you). These fun-loving, mostly single women had come to explore Italy for 10 days.

They had the freedom to do it–and diva-style all the way. I was able to show them the best of both worlds. On one hand, the joys of experiencing the Old Continent as a local and on the other, understanding where they were coming from as a fellow American to make the experience all the richer.

Twas exciting times:

• Zipping around Rome on scooters; exploring the nooks and crannies only locals know about!
• Showing them my authentic Italy. The one I had come to love after over 7 years living there!
• Hosting private VIP mixers for them because I had connections and friends galore!
• Running around translating for the ladies who had met handsome men. Very funny!
• Teaching them how to flawlessly flirt Italian-style and how to create that magnetic look fashion-wise!

Not something your typical 23-year-old can do–even with daddy’s money. You see, savoir faire is SEXY and you can’t have it without having authentically acquired it–through REAL LIFE. Yes, that’s the fifth one!

You’ve built a great life for yourself. You know who you are, what you want and who you want. Now go out and LIVE with love, gratitude and PASSION!

Are YOU in?

Magnetic love & success!

Rhonda
“Your Mojo Makeover Mentor”

P.S. What do you love about your life experience as a Baby Boomer or Gen-Xer? My blog posts are NOT complete without your comments.