Why Playing “Hard to Get” Actually Sabotages Your Love Life
I don’t know about you, but I’ve read a TON of dating books, spoken to dating coaches and listened to “gurus” lecture on how “hard to get” women are highly attractive.
Are you really the type of woman who wants to manipulate a man into being more attracted to her? How’s that for starting a relationship based on honesty?
Actually playing hard to get sabotages your love life. Although it may initially keep a man wanting more of you, it is actually counterproductive. You see, the masses use this to create mystery and intrigue, keeping a guy off balance and guessing how you really feel and why you’re so busy. It works (temporarily) because men want what they cannot have.
Two Ways It Could Blow Up In Your Face
Let’s say you’re really not busy and are just using the “playing hard to get” to keep his attention. Let’s say he falls for you – truly, madly and deeply and you get into a committed relationship. Great! Right? Not really, especially if you were just faking it and really had nothing to do. Women who do this tend to start being needy because now they want that time to be filled – with dates and attention, by the new boyfriend. He’ll think, “Yikes! She was never this clingy before! Who is this woman?” And the whole web you wove will begin to unravel.
On the other hand, let’s say you aren’t the clingy type, but you enjoy staying home most of the time. This is your true core nature, but you’ve been acting like you were Ms. On-The-Go? Think about this, what if he loves the fact that you seemed active and now you’ve done the Jekyll and Hyde transformation, he’ll become bored with the whole “hermit thing” and wonder who the heck you are and how he got roped into this. What if the YOU he fell in love with is the woman who does things? You risk boring him. Boredom is basically the kiss of death for any relationship. Second, you risk arguments because he’s more of an “on-the-go” guy and you’re a homebody. Not exactly the best of matches!
Either way should be avoided because they are both likely to end with you losing him – for good. Men rarely give second chances to a woman who is too clingy or does the Jekyll and Hyde.
It Not About Playing, But Being
One thing you have, as an entrepreneur is naturally in your favor is the fact that you REALLY are busy and don’t have to ACT. So if you aren’t really that busy, just let him see that. If he’s that kind of guy too, he will understand and love it. If not, then he’s not your type of guy. Save yourself wasted time and heartbreak and BE YOURSELF. I’m not saying you have to be available at his beck and call, but you can also tell the truth, say you’re tired or don’t feel like going out.
Your Turn to Take Action
Great, now you’re going to stop sabotaging your love life. Practice telling the truth about how you’re spending your time with everybody you care about (family and friends). Then it will become second nature when you are chatting with a new guy you’ve met. No, you don’t have to send his assistant your entire agenda for the quarter and be play-by-play transparent about everything you’re doing. Just be honest about the lifestyle you live so you can attract a man who is compatible with it.
OK girlfriend, take a moment to let me know your thoughts – good, bad and even ugly! I want to know you’re there and that I’m adding value to your life. Otherwise this blog is useless. Thanks in advance!
Sending you mojo!
Rhonda
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rhonda Cort – CEO, Dean Boedeker. Dean Boedeker said: RT @MagneticWoman: Why "Playing Hard to Get" Actually Sabotages Your Love Life http://bit.ly/aty3Tt #dating #magneticmojo [...]
Hey Rhonda…great advice….how long have u been married or in a relationship…
[Reply]
Rhonda Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 8:04 am
Girlfriend, long enough! LOL! He is an awesome guy who is a brilliant entrepreneur, millionaire mover & shaker, highly respected and at the top of his industry; MOST IMPORTANTLY he treats me like a goddess and frequently let’s me know I am first on his “list”. Yep, even his businesses take a back seat to me. (I am a VERY lucky woman
)… ALL savvy, elite woman entrepreneurs should be treated this way. How’s your quest to attract your high-quality, successful Mr. Right for You going?
[Reply]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rhonda Cort and Rhonda Cort, Bag Of LOVE. Bag Of LOVE said: RT @MagneticWoman2010Why "playing" hard to get actually sabotages your love life? http://bit.ly/cVA7NF #mwtip [...]